The stylish mum
I wrote a status update on Facebook last week that went thus:
Michael Kors watch: check. Smeared with Weetabix: check. Never has my blog’s tagline – Stylishly navigating the madness of motherhood – been so appropriate.
And it got me thinking about all those little giveaways, those telltale signs we have about us every day that signal ‘I’m a mother!’ (other than the Small Person dangling off your arm). It doesn’t matter how stylish we are when we’re at work / in non-mummy mode, or how up-to-the minute we are with the latest trends, or how well-thought out our outfits are. Because there will always be something to remind us of our VIP role in life, such as that smear of Weetabix on my very nice Michael Kors watch.
And you know what? I loved it. It made me smile. I was in the office at work, away from my baby, dressed in my I’ve-still-got-it work wear and feeling pretty good about myself in my Other Non-Mummy Role, when all of a sudden, a quick time-check revealed that wheaty smudge across the watch face, and back I was in Mummy Mode, with a little image of my son that morning, cereal all over his face and sticky hands. It was like a little part of him was with me in the office.
So today’s post is about all the ways you can tell you’re a mum, however fabulously you’re dressed. And I think we ought to be proud of those extra touches, cereal smudges, tissue-stuffed pockets and all.
10 ways to tell you’re stylishly navigating the madness of motherhood…
1. Your fab new hairdo is turning heads as you walk along the high street. Because there’s a dollop of blueberry yogurt in your fringe.
2. You’re wearing the latest jeans from J Brand, only yours come with an added extra your non-mummy friend’s pair doesn’t have: emergency breadsticks all crushed up in the pockets.
3. Your wrists are fashionably stacked with friendship bracelets. Shame your Links of London one seems to be glued together with Dairylea. And one of the bracelets on your left wrist is actually a glittery purple hair bobble that belongs to your daughter.
4. The It Bag dangling nonchalantly from your forearm is attracting envious looks from the other women in House of Fraser. Or perhaps they’re just confused as to why there’s a Rastamouse sticker stuck to the side (a personalised touch added by your thoughtful toddler before you left the house).
5. The very same It Bag contains your iPhone, iPad, Mulberry purse, Dior lipstick and Smythson diary. As well as countless screwed up balls of snotty tissues, a packet of mini rice cakes, a pretend remote control and a sachet of Calprofen.
6. Your colleagues are dying to know what colour polish you’re wearing on your manicured nails, but you can’t remember the name, and you’ve lost the bottle anyway, as your child has decided to steal it from your dressing table and hide it amongst their toys.
7. Your leopard print Louis Vuitton scarf has a limited edition print that nobody else has. It’s called Hipp Organic Tomato & Mozarella Spaghetti.
8. Your smart phone has all the latest apps to keep you fashionably on the button: ShopStyle, WhoWhatWear, Vogue Stylist. And they sit happily on your desktop alongside Kidtivities, Voucher Cloud and CBeebies On The Go.
9. You nip to Boots in your lunch hour for YSL’s new-season burgundy mascara shade, Chanel Le Vernis in Frenzy (so a/w 2012, darling) and a Clinique Chubby Stick. And pop them in the basket next to the Anbesol, ProPlus, Kalms, Vicks VapoRub and the BOGOF Huggies wipes.
10. Sat in the coffee shop, you’re flicking through this week’s Grazia while sipping on a soy chai latte, nibbling your edamame and sushi and Instagramming all your latest pics. Then your phone rings to the tune of your youngest loudly screeching along to the opening credits to SpongeBob Square Pants.