Trends translated

Yes I know we’ve just finished London Fashion Week and are supposed to be interested in everything spring/summer 2014 already, but while the sky’s becoming progressively more grey, the rain is making my hair frizz and my thoughts are turning to toddler welly socks, I’m more focused on the current season’s trends (ie, autumn/winter 2013).

It’s all so exciting seeing the models sashay down the catwalk in their designer finery then watching as the trends filter down to the high street so that us mere mortals can dip our toe in the season’s latest offerings. But as mums, the luxury of trotting out in fashion’s key looks when you’re breastfeeding a newborn, dashing off on the school run, freezing your knickers off on the sidelines of a rugby pitch or dragging your knees on a biscuit-crumb-encrusted floor at the local playgroup isn’t always practical.

That doesn’t mean we can’t make the seasonal trends work for us, mind you…



Christopher Kane AW13


As shown in the Christopher Kane show, camouflage is a big hit for autumn/winter. And how perfect for mummying? It’s the ideal symbolism for the battlefield that a full day with a two-year-old feels like, as you side-step low-flying missiles, struggle through the hits and the wailing and wade across a living room that looks like a bomb’s hit it. Also perfect for disguising chocolate, bean and snot stains and splashback from muddy puddles.

Carven AW13

Carven AW13


The colour of the season, thanks to the likes of Carven and Jil Sander, pick from candyfloss pastels or shocking fuchsias. I find after a night of broken sleep, while psychologically I’m reaching for a grey marl to match my knackered skin tone, this hue does wonders to brighten up a drawn complexion and lift your mood. Plus, the more Barbara Cartland you go, the easier it’ll be for your mortified teenage son to pick you out at the school gate when you come to collect him (bonus). Failing that, it might distract your toddler mid-meltdown if you sling on your blush-coloured sweater and watch them squeal with glee that Peppa Pig’s suddenly arrived in the living room.

VictoriaBeckham AW13 oversized

Victoria Beckham AW13


Now here’s a trend I can get on board with. Mannish tailoring, cocoon coats – oversized cuts are, well, big this season. Not only does wearing something oversized make you feel teeny and Rachel Zoe-esque as you drown beneath it, it also means you can fit a baby bump in it, hide a wobbly tummy in it, disguise gym-phobic thighs and even shoplift unnoticed ( kidding - besides, my two-year-old clepto is more than capable of concealing unpaid-for goods about his presence and within the buggy as we carouse the aisles of Sainsbury’s, no need for me to start smuggling fresh produce). Failing that, on particularly bad days with a tearaway toddler, you can just hide yourself away with a bar of Dairy Milk in your oversized coat and tell your offspring that Mummy’s playing in her tent and will be out when Charlie & Lola has finished.

Lanvin aw13 winter florals Imaxtree

Lanvin AW13


Lanvin did it, Dolce did it, and obviously Erdem did it (designer Mr Moralioglu loves a bloom), and now us stylish mummies can show we’re on the style ball by showcasing our own winter florals. Different to your average floral in that the flowers are usually displayed on a darker background, they’re far more slimming and badass than your average summer garden-party florals (yes, we’re mums, but we don’t want to look mumsy, after all). More importantly, if you can’t be faffed with going out and buying an upgrade, just recycle your current florals and give them a new-season spin by teaming them with a leather jacket, oversized mannish cardi, black skinnies, biker boots or plaid. That simple. Why splash out on more clothes when you can use what you’ve got and save those precious pennies for kids’ shoes, new uniforms, economy-size nappies, chocolate, wine, gin, weekend childcare…



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